Today is Monday!

Mike called in this morning. He hasn't been sleeping well at all. I bought some melatonin yesterday but it doesn't seem to be working. I am starting to think that this is strictly spiritual. The only time he has gone to church is when we were at his parent's house. That was to see their Easter play. We went without him yesterday, so it has been 3 wks of no fellowship/worship for him. He hasn't been reading his bible. The only thing he has been doing is watching UFC stuff. My heart is tired. I want my husband back. I want Satan to release his hand from him. I went and got a few groceries this morning before everyone woke up. It is 9:05 am and Mike and the baby are laying in the bed together asleep. At least I think Mike is asleep. We still have our chores to do and school to get done. I need to think like a better wife. This stuff with the withdrawal is really annoying me. I want to say, "Be a man, get over it." But I know that is from Satan and not the mind of a wife that loves the Lord. R will be done with her math book today. I have been really lax on Science and History this year. I mean, we have been reading but the activities have been by the wayside since the computer was down between October and March. I really want to do Heart of Dakota this year. I believe it will help a lot. I am buying a little at a time so the money isn't overwhelming to me. We still haven't decided on a math. I want to go to a homeschool bookstore and have R pick out a math she likes. I want to pick something for E too. We are going to do math and grammar/phonics separate and everything else together. Ooooh and I really want to implement the Language Lessons from the Queen Homeschool website. They look awesome! Sandy Queen did a great job! I am looking forward to next year...maybe my family will be like it is supposed to be. My soul longs for that. I want my husband to be the spiritual leader again. Everything is on me...everything. It is tiring. I know what it is supposed to be like to be a keeper at home (which I don't really do a good job of at the moment) but a married woman is NOT supposed to be the head of the household (spiritually or financially). Lord, guide me...show me what is supposed to be done, be silent about, and be prayed for. In Your most precious and Holy Name...Jesus...I give You all the praise and the glory.