I am awake

Yes. It is almost 1:30 am and I am still awake. I went to bed an hour ago but my mind wouldn't shut down about something I read today and about what happened Sunday. Then I was just overloaded and started crying. It is difficult for me to say this because I do not want to feel this way and for the most part I don't feel I should. I am scared. I am scared for our girls to be without their daddy for a year. I am scared to not have my best friend literally by my side for a year. I am scared that he may get hurt. I am scared that he may die. I am scared that my girls may grow up without a daddy. I am scared I may live the rest of my life without my best friend. I don't want to be scared. I want to feel secure enough to be able to handle letting him go. I am crying out to Jesus to protect him, to give him comfort, to give him peace, to give him wisdom. I am tired (not annoyed tired but emotionally) of people thinking they can say anything they want about soldiers or this war. They are doing their job, please let them. Most people have no idea what the military is about and some that claim they do, have NO IDEA what infantry is about. Unless your husband had Top Secret clearance, did 30mi road marches with a 110 lb ruck with blood running out of his boots, been without food for a week, been without sleep for a week, jumped out of a plane 52 times with a 110 lb ruck, ran 5mi a day, has EIB, has been trained in hand to hand combat, has been on missions that you will never know about, has been trained in NBC weapons...then I don't want to hear anything negative you have to about this war or the soldiers of the US Army. There is enough emotion that we have to deal with without hearing someone saying they know what is going on, when they don't have the slightest clue. My husband is a HIGHLY trained soldier and I am proud to be his wife. I just pray that that he will come back to us.